There are many wonderful benefits to seeing the world with a grateful eye.  The most immediate benefit, of course, is that grateful people are happy people.  When we look upon our world with gratitude in our hearts, we tend to see only what is good about our surroundings, our relationships, our situation.  We tend to focus on the positive aspects of our world, and to filter out the negative.  Even when bad things happen … and they do … grateful people still tend to find the good buried somewhere underneath the rubble.  Grateful people can always see the silver lining, the rainbow, the pot of gold, the light at the end of the tunnel.  When we see our world with a grateful eye, we see a world that is generous and helpful.  We see a world so eager to help us fulfill our dreams that it constantly leaves clues that will lead us, like breadcrumbs, down the path that leads toward our highest good.

The ability to see those clues is called intuition. It is a gut feeling we get about a situation, or a fleeting thought that crosses our mind that connects in some ridiculously far-fetched way with a situation we find ourselves in.  It is the still, small, suggestive voice of God silently whispering to us in the background of our noisy mental chatter.

Intuition is often called the sixth sense. Women seem to be more attuned to it than men, which is why we are all familiar with the phrase women’s intuition.  I’m suspecting it’s because women tend to think with their hearts.    Now, I’m not suggesting that men cannot be intuitive; some men also have learned to think with their hearts and so have learned to see the world intuitively.  We all can learn to be more intuitive, but those of us who have trained ourselves to maintain an attitude of gratitude as we go through our day will have a definite advantage.  As my friend Jeffrey Smith pointed out to me yesterday, gratitude amplifies intuition.

Here’s why:  When we are grateful for whatever life has set before us, even if it is something we might not have willingly chosen, we tend to accept the situation  without resistance.  We accept things as they are and we go with the flow.  Resistance is what causes us to suffer.  It makes us fearful and worried, so we feel the need to interfere and try to fix everything, which of course usually makes everything worse.  When we are grateful, we thankfully accept whatever life may offer us, and we move through obstacles calmly and unafraid — much like Luke Skywalker, when he finally learns to stop struggling and to use the force.   When we stop resisting,  our intuition gets a huge boost.

When we learn to be grateful for everything, we begin to see that nothing happens by accident, and we start to actively look for the lesson and the benefit that each situation is bringing to us.  Because we are looking for clues, we find them; and because we trust the Universe, when our intuition shows us a detour that will lead to our pot of gold, we follow it.

What is your intuition trying to tell you today?  Can you see the clues that are right before your eyes?  They are always there, because the whole universe is always conspiring to help us achieve our dreams.  Always.  It is up to us to look at our world with eyes that are accustomed to finding clues in everything, and then to have the courage to follow those clues wherever they may lead.

Being grateful helps in that process, because with grateful eyes we can learn to see blessings where others only see a problem.   If your heart is grateful, your intuition will be better able to recognize clues when they cross your path.  Remember, your biggest break may very well come to you cleverly disguised as an annoying interruption.

“How does one become a butterfly?” she asked pensively.

“You must want to fly so much you are willing to give up being a caterpillar.”

“You mean die?”

“Yes and no,” he answered. “What looks like you will die, but what’s really you will still live”

—–From Hope For The Flower

Growth hurts.  Sometimes little kids experience actual physical pain as their bones and muscles grow.  Doctors call these growing pains.  Massaging the area helps, as do lots of hugs and kisses.  But there are also psychological growing pains, and we are never too old to experience those.

As humans, we all have certain basic needs that must be fulfilled in order for us to thrive.  One of these is the need for Certainty.  We like for things to be comfortable and familiar.  Certainty helps us to feel safe and in control.  Certainty is the bedrock on which our identities are built; it helps us to define who we are.

But too much certainty can work against us.  Clinging to certainty is the reason why we remain in a situation long after it has stopped serving our highest good.  It is the reason why we stay in an abusive relationship;  it is the reason why we keep working a job that we despise; it is the reason why we watch TV or play games on Facebook instead of working on our dreams.  It is the reason why we don’t grow.

Yet, it is the nature of living things to grow.    In our imaginations, we can see ourselves as we might be, if things were different.  Or, if we are a bit more hopeful about our future, we can see ourselves as we will be, someday.  We can easily visualize ourselves healthy, happy, wealthy, fulfilled. We have a vague idea of what an exceptional life might be like for us.  Each of us can sense that we have some talent hidden inside us just begging to be expressed:  an idea, a song, a gizmo, a book, a business.  We may even have an idea of what actions we could take to begin moving in the direction of our dream.  Yet because we are afraid to let go of certainty, we never quite take that first step.

One of the greatest life skills that we can develop is the ability to let go.   Until we are willing to let go of who we have been, we will never be free to become who we might be.   To follow the butterfly metaphor:  until we are willing to let go of our earthbound caterpillar ways, we will never be free to soar on butterfly wings.

During our lives we go through many chapters.  For some of us, the chapters are each so radically different from the others that they seem to be completely different lives.  Sometimes our new life is one that we welcome; at other times our new life is thrust upon us, unbidden.  More than once, I have lost everything I owned.  I have lost friends and family that I loved dearly.  I have lost my home and my job; I have even lost my youth.  In each of these instances, I have found myself suddenly standing in the middle of a brand new life, whether or not I was willing.

When we experience losses such as these, it is important that we learn to honor what was past, and to let it go.  Too often, we spend our energy wishing things were the same as they once were, rather than learning to see our new situation with grateful eyes.  In order to develop an attitude of sincere gratitude for what is, it is very important that we allow ourselves to stop clinging to what was. If we do not, we risk becoming bitter and unhappy people.

The art of letting go also serves us well when we find ourselves experiencing radical changes of the good kind:  a new business, a marriage, a book contract, a chance to perform music or show art.  All of a sudden we find our dreams coming true, and we realize that in order to sustain this change we must begin to live differently.  We realize that to be successful in our new world we must let go of old friends who reinforce bad habits; perhaps we must move to a different location, or give up old comforts to make room for new opportunities.

Often, when people realize the extent of what they must give up of their old lives in order to fully embrace their dreams, they hold back.  The fear of giving up the old life keeps them from moving forward into their dream.  They choose, instead, the comfort of certainty.  They tell people, “I used to want to be a …, but life got in the way.”

It is the nature of living things to grow, and often that growth hurts … temporarily.  But not growing hurts us even worse, and that type of hurt causes a suffering that lingers and festers.

Be grateful for what is past.  Remember it lovingly, knowing that everything is with us just for a season and that we should never take any of it for granted.  Look around at what you have now, today, and see it with grateful eyes, knowing that at any time it could all disappear.  Be OK with that.  Learn the art of letting go.  Practice the attitude the Buddhists call non-attachment.  Love what is in your life without feeling entitled to it; and when its season has past, let it go.  You may still experience growing pains, but they will be the healthy kind, easily  fixed with just a few extra hugs and kisses.

***

Want more?

Learning To Be Grateful For Impermanent Things.

A Butterfly By Any Other Name

October is my favorite month.  I look forward to October the way snow-bound New Englanders look forward to spring.  I’ve been held prisoner in my air-conditioned home since June, because I’m unable to tolerate the Florida heat and humidity during the summer months.  Actually, that’s an understatement; I suffer so much during the summer months that it makes me wonder why I even live in Florida!  In October it finally cools down, and the relative humidity drops below 70 percent.  In October, I finally get to go outside to play.  So every October, I make it a point to meet up with all of my hippie friends to frolic together in the meadow for a week of music, dancing, celebration.

Which is why I find myself this weekend at MagnoliaFest, the annual folk-hippie music festival held at the Spirit of the Suwannee Campground in Live Oak, FL the third weekend of every October.  The music begins on Thursday afternoon, but since I just got back from a week-long vacation in the North Carolina mountains, I had to wait until after work on Friday to start the four-hour trip up here.  When I finally pulled into the festival grounds, Dickie Betts and Great Southern were wailing down at the Amphitheatre, playing the soundtrack from my youth.  Man, does that band ever bring back some old memories!  Dickie Betts was the favorite band of the original Valerie (some day I may tell you that story), and we used to listen to her Dickie Betts 8-Track on our beach-bound road trips, way back when … one blonde, one brunette, long hair flying in the breeze of the open windows as we cruised recklessly through the night in an old woody station wagon.

Rosemary getting her frolic on

I’ve been coming to MagFest for about eight years.  The first time may have been right after Larry died (again … a story for another time), but it’s hard to remember now.  My friends Chuck and Rosemary bought me my first ticket, a pricey gift which for some reason I accepted.  I think they knew that I really needed a change of scene, and that a few days at MagFest would be able to heal what ailed me.  I remember being very burnt out when I got here that first time, and spent a lot of time sleeping in my tent. Since I’m not really a cook, all I had to offer to the community was a half dozen of those little wooden school chairs that little kids sit in, and a couple of tables.  I brought a stove and some coffee presses, and Cafe Valerie was born.  It was a tranquil spot where people could gather over coffee in the early morning, gently strumming on guitars and picking out harmonies as all the night people were heading off like a pack of vampires to their beds.

As it turns out, Chuck and Rosemary gave me more than just a relaxing weekend that first year; they gave me the family that I had been longing for.  Suddenly, I was part of a community of people who care about me and who are happy to see me every year when I return home.  Rosemary is a born networker:  she knows everyone — the vendors, the campers, the musicians.  Within minutes of meeting someone she knows all their most intimate issues, their hopes, their dreams.  No one is a stranger to Rose.  Because she is such a warm and welcoming person, Rosemary has attracted an entire community of people who now camp here together at every festival. Most of these people never knew each other before, and come from different places. Yet every year at Magfest … and often at Springfest which happens in March … we all manage to find each other and camp together.  We have become a family, and Magfest is our family reunion.

It fascinates me to watch the way this empty patch of woods by a lake turns into a crowded, bustling neighborhood every year.  Last year I came on Monday; for the first few days the only other people here were Rosemary and NC Cindy.  The solitude under the moss-covered oaks was peaceful and healing, like a balm for my soul.  Then, the people came!  Within hours, homes went up, paths were negotiated, territory was claimed, and a village appeared, as if by magic.  I love watching the way our group works together, helping each other set up camp in what turns out to be one huge commune in the middle of the loop. Working together as we do, we are all able to enjoy a level of comfort that would be difficult to achieve if we each worked separately.  My friend Lee calls me his favorite little communist; I’m beginning to see what he means.  I really like communal living, in its pure sense.  In this case, everyone contributes what they do best as we work together to create our group home.

In the past, the only contact we ever had with each other was here on the festival grounds once or twice a year.  Oh, Rosemary keeps in touch with everyone, of course.  She sends handmade greeting cards and makes phone calls to check in on everyone.  Rosemary is the glue that holds us all together.  This year, though, Facebook happened.  Many of us became Facebook friends this year, and have been following each other’s life events on a daily basis.  They were with me when my cat Pearl died; we watched Jeffery fall in love in New England this summer, and grieved with him when his ferret died.  Ruthie and Scooby were there, and so was Gigi. We got to be Phil’s biggest fans as his Nashvillain Band became more and more popular up around Atlanta. We all rooted for the Susians when Susie was fighting for her life this past year, and rejoiced with them when she won the Breast Cancer Survivor of the Year Award.  This year, when we all came together, we didn’t need to catch up.  We already knew.  We hugged and cried together even before words were exchanged.  Thanks to Facebook, we are all connected at the heart in a way that was never possible before.

For me at least, this might be the best MagFest yet.  The weather is absolutely perfect:  the air is crisp and cool without being too chilly, and the sun is shining warmly in a bright blue sky.  The love that keeps me coming back here to MagFest every year is magnified ten-fold this time … mostly because of the increased intimacy made possible by Facebook and The Attitude of Gratitude Project.  Plus, there is always a bit of magic involved in this Magfest community that is not available to us out there in our other lives.   Here, aside from a little homemaking, we have no jobs to go to.  Except for Jeffery of course — this IS his job!  Here, we have our entire days free to frolic out in the meadow, enjoying the smell of patchouli and campfires on the cool autumn breeze.  Here, we don’t have a care in the world.  We can play with our friends, dance to our favorite bands, and just celebrate the fact that we are alive and we are free.

On that note, I hear the meadow calling me.  Time to put on my dancing shoes and let the frolicking begin!

Have you ever tried to juggle balls?  I once had a friend who was a master juggler.  He could juggle six or seven balls at a time, sometimes bouncing them, sometimes throwing them in the air.  He was amazing.  One day he took me out to the park and taught me how to juggle.   You toss one ball with the right hand and catch it with the left hand, while you’re also tossing another ball with the left hand and catching with the right.  You’re eyes, however, never leave the balls that are in the air.  The secret is to get a rhythm going, tossing the balls to the same height every time so that the catching and the tossing all happen in a predictable manner.  It’s really quite a beautiful thing once you get the hang of it.

In the beginning, while you’re learning how to juggle, you drop lots and lots of balls.  But eventually, if you keep at it, you learn the rhythm of it, and you learn to focus on doing just one thing:  catching the next ball.  Juggling requires focus and concentration.  If you let your mind wander, or if you take your eyes off the balls in the air, you lose it and balls go flying everywhere.  The secret to doing it well is consistency:  tossing the same number of balls the same way every time.  When you add more balls to the mix, then you have to learn to readjust your toss, so that you have time to catch each ball in its turn.

You can see where I’m going with this metaphor, because life really is quite a bit like juggling.  We are each of us learning to juggle all of our varied responsibilities:  we go to work, spend quality time with our families, keep in touch with our friends, volunteer at church or  in our community, feed ourselves healthy food, get lots of fresh air and exercise, work on our hobbies, take care of our house and our car, do the laundry, wash the dishes, take out the trash, write a blog, go to band practice, learn new music, wash the dog, attend all the necessary networking events, check in at Facebook and Twitter on a consistent basis, oh, and don’t forget to get plenty of rest.  It’s not surprising that from time to time we drop some balls.

Juggling balls is a bit easier than juggling our lives, because balls are always the same.  If you start with a ball that fits in the palm of your hand, that ball will always stay the same size.  Not so with real life.   In real life we go through seasons where one area of our life requires more of our attention, and it crowds out other areas.  When that happens, we’re forced to let some balls drop.  For instance, I have a business colleague who just found out that her husband is seriously ill, so she made the wise choice to let many of her balls fall to the ground so that she can focus all of her attention on him.   She’s juggling with fewer balls now so she can focus on the balls that matter.

In my own situation, the ball called work went from a tiny little thing that barely took up three or four hours a day to a huge 12 to 18 hour a day monster ball that took every ounce of energy I could muster for several weeks.  I was forced to drop several balls during that time, one of which was this blog.  Some of the balls that I dropped in the past few weeks I’ve chosen to leave on the ground and not pick back up.  I’m sure there are people out there who will be unhappy about that, but they’ll get over it.  When our lives change, which they always do, it forces us to re-evaluate what is important to us, and to let go of those things which no longer serve us so that we have time to focus on what’s important.  This blog is important, both to me and to the handful of people who read it every week.  So to my loyal readers, I offer my apologies for my absence, and my assurance that I do plan to keep this ball in the game.

Much like my friend with the sick husband, I’ve chosen to juggle with fewer balls so that I can focus more completely on what’s important.  I’ve left some balls lying on the ground so that I can give more time to the balls called Writing, and Singing, and Home.  Stay tuned to this site for more weekly articles on Gratitude, as well as some new daily features.  And if you find yourself dropping balls in your own life, forgive yourself.  It’s all part of the game.

It is literally true that you can succeed best & quickest by helping others to succeed. Napoleon Hill

How would you like to have more clients than you can handle?  Wouldn’t that be a great problem to have?  Even better, how would it be if all those clients were happy, contented clients instead of angry, frustrated clients?  As your mother used to tell you, your reputation is everything:  if you and your business have a good reputation, people will flock to your doors, happy to give you their money.  So how do you build that reputation, especially when you’re first starting out?

Face it:  people can’t talk about you if they don’t know who you are, so if you expect your business to succeed, some type of business networking activity on your part is absolutely essential, both in online communities and out in your real-world community. But just being out there exchanging business cards isn’t enough.  The secret to building an effective business network is to bring to every networking encounter the intention to provide something of value to the other person.  Although it may seem counterintuitive, the absolute best way to build an excellent personal and business reputation is to forget about yourself and your business needs completely, and to focus on helping others in your community to build their business.

Years ago I worked for a high end decorator.  One afternoon I found myself at a social function held at a federal style estate out in Southern Maryland.  The event was supposed to be casual, so at least I had appropriate clothing to wear, but I felt totally out-classed by the guests.  What could I possibly have in common with them to talk about?  Much to my delight, I wound up in the back yard, seated next to a local judge who came from some old money and a long line of judges.  He instantly took control of the conversation, but instead of telling me all about how wonderful he was, Judge Goodfellow asked me questions.  He asked questions like, What do you like best about what you do?  If you could do anything in the world that you wanted, what would your day look like?  Tell me about where you live?  What does it look like?  How does it feel there?  What is your favorite part of your house?  What do you like to do when you’re not working?  What brings you the most joy?

I only met the Judge once, and years later I still remember that conversation.  Mostly I remember how the judge made me feel:  He made me feel valued, he made me feel heard, he made me feel relevant.   If Judge Goodfellow had called me later asking for a business meeting, you can bet I would have taken his call.  And if anyone had ever asked me to recommend a Judge with high personal integrity, Judge Goodfellow’s name would come immediately to mind.

Building business relationships is no different than building personal relationships.  All relationships are built upon mutually shared experiences, and are nourished by intimacy.  If you want people to remember you with the same intensity that I remember the good Judge, then make every encounter about them, not about you.  If you belong to a leads group (and you absolutely should), remember that you are there to give leads, not to get them.  That means that you have to get to know these people on a personal level.  Get to know their hopes, their dreams, their frustrations, their challenges.  Really listen to them when they speak,  and actively search your brain for ways that you can help them to reach their business and personal goals.

Bring an attitude of gratitude and appreciation to all your business relationships.  Find specific things to appreciate about your business colleagues and your customers.  You’ll see whatever you look for, so look for the good, and then be very vocal about singing their praises.  Say good things about other businesses in your community.  Tell your customers how much you appreciate them.  Learn to send genuine, heartfelt thank you cards. You will always get back whatever it is that you put out there, so if you consistently express your gratitude  for your colleagues and customers, and if they truly feel valued and appreciated, they will gladly send you as many referrals as they can.  I guarantee that both you and your business will flourish.

Valerie Saurer is a shopkeeper at Ashley’s Pool Store in Cocoa Beach, and is an active member of the Cocoa Beach Area Chamber of Commerce, Portside Pros, and the Soaring Success Leads Group.

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever.”  John Keats

Have you ever heard music so beautiful that it made you cry?  Have you ever seen something so beautiful that it actually took your breath away?  If that has ever happened to you, my guess is that you can still recall that moment in vivid detail.  You can still hear the music in your head, even though the moment has long past.

Beauty is ephemeral:  flowers wither and die, rainbows dissolve into the mist,  symphonies end.

Some people are better at seeing beauty than others.  They are attuned to it, like a Reiki master is attuned to healing energy.  Some people just seem to vibrate at the frequencies where beauty dwells, and they can see beauty more readily than we mere mortals.  We call those people artists, and if we are very fortunate they are able to communicate that beauty to us in such a way that we can see what they see, or hear what they hear.

Portrait photographer Yvette Gioia is one of those people.  She has the rare ability of being able to see beauty in people who may not consider themselves to be beautiful, and then capturing that beauty on film.  Not only does she  photograph the physical beauty of a person,  she captures the beauty of their soul as well.  If you are fortunate enough to be photographed by Yvette, you will never see yourself in the same way again.

While we may not all have Yvette’s talented eye, I believe that we can all learn to see the beauty that is around us every day.  Our ability to see beauty in everyday things is directly related to the degree of gratitude that we bring to our world, as well as an appreciation for the fleetingness of life’s pleasurable moments.  Learning to see beauty requires that we take the time to stop and appreciate beauty when we cross its path.  When we are grateful enough for beauty to give it our undivided attention, even for a moment, time stands still.  And if we really give ourselves over to that precious moment of beauty something miraculous happens:  that moment burns itself into our memory like a photograph on Yvette’s camera, and we can recall it even years later in vivid detail.  What a glorious gift!

This past weekend I participated in a performance of Verdi’s Requiem with the Space Coast Oratorio Society in Cocoa Beach.  I was one of over 80 singers who performed along with a full orchestra under the direction of Aaron Collins, a young conductor with an amazing talent for drawing exceptionally beautiful music out of marginally talented musicians.  There is nothing more fleeting than the beauty of a musical performance.  We rehearse for months, during which time we struggle with music that tends to be just outside the grasp of our limited musical abilities.  Under Aaron’s gentle coaxing we begin to make sense out of intricate harmonies and difficult rhythmic patterns.  We stretch ourselves musically, willingly suspending our disbelief in our own abilities and giving ourselves over to Aaron’s vision.  Finally, it is performance day, and we only get one shot at getting it right.

When you’re performing a piece of music of that magnitude, the whole world drops away and for a time nothing exists except the music.  During a performance, if you’re doing it properly, every fiber of your being is involved in that performance.  You actually become the music.   For months I’ve been learning my piece of it.  I’ve hummed the alto parts as I shop at Publix, and latin phrases like tuba mirum spargens sonum have been stuck in my head.  I burst out into unprovoked latin at odd moments, like a form of medieval Turette’s.  Each of the other singers and orchestra members has been equally focused on their parts.  From our individual points of view, we are all learning a different piece of music.  But then performance day comes, and each of our individual pieces gets combined into one glorious piece of musical beauty.

Quite often, performance day is the first time any of us has ever heard the piece in its entirety, with all the parts playing at once.  Until performance day, the conductor is the only one who can hear the whole thing in his head as HE shops at Publix.  So over the years I’ve learned to really pay attention to performance day.  I’ve learned to appreciate the ephemeral quality of a musical performance and to be grateful for the privilege of participating in the expression of such exquisite beauty.  As the strings begin the opening chords, my whole world drops away, and I become completely aware of every detail.  I am acutely aware, throughout the performance, that I am experiencing a once-in-a-lifetime moment and that to capture it I must give my entire soul over to the experience.  The feeling is one of complete and total gratitude for the beauty of the moment. As the vibrations of the last note dissolve away, the world rushes back, and POOF!  the music is gone.  We never perform that piece again.  All that work for one performance, and then we walk away.

After an exceptionally beautiful performance, when the excitement has begun to die down and it finally begins to dawn on me that it’s really over, it’s not unusual for me to cry.  We are irrational beings, and even though we know beauty is fleeting, there is a part of us that wishes we could somehow capture it and keep it forever.  We mourn its passing and grieve for our perceived loss.  The grieving is part of the beauty of it, I think, and I’ve learned to cherish the sadness I feel at the end of a particularly exhausting but satisfying performance.

But if we’ve truly appreciated the beauty that crosses our path, we are left with the memory of it embedded in our soul, there to be retrieved in future days.  If we’ve taken the time to appreciate beauty with our entire being, if we’ve been truly grateful for the moment of beauty and given ourselves over to it, then it stays with us always.

As you go through this day, keep an eye open for random beauty.  When it crosses your path, stop what you are doing, if only for a moment, and relish in the fullness of that beauty.  Let it seep into the dark crevices of your soul, filling the empty corners with its warm light.  And if it happens that you find yourself sad today over something or someone that is leaving your life, then cherish that sadness as a sure sign that beauty has paid a visit.   Be grateful for the gift that beauty brings, and beauty will surely come around again to brighten another day.

Valerie Saurer is a musician and writer living in Merritt Island Florida with Keith and an ever-increasing number of cats.

If you’re missing someone who once brought beauty into your life, Valerie invites you to send them a free greeting card so you can let them know how you feel.

“Most people treat the present moment as if it were an obstacle that they need to overcome.  Since the present moment is Life itself, it is an insane way to live.” Eckhart Tolle

Have you ever done business with someone who was totally enthusiastic about their work?  While they are providing their service to you, their eyes sparkle, they have a bounce to their step, and you can sense their utter delight at giving you their best.  You don’t come across these individuals very often, but when you do they stand out as exceptional.  My optician, Mr. Raspberry, is one of these people.  When I bring him my mangled glasses to fix (I’m really hard on glasses), his eyes light up and he actually giggles as he’s coaxing them back into usable shape.  To Mr. Raspberry, there is nothing routine or mundane about fixing glasses:  he treats each pair as if they were the most exciting work he’s ever done.  I actually look forward to getting my glasses adjusted, because just being around Mr. Raspberry’s enthusiasm is contagious and I always leave with a smile on my face.

My insurance agent, Mrs. Blueberry, is another example of someone who is completely enthusiastic about what she does.  She absolutely loves selling insurance, and enjoys her work so much that she sings as she writes your policy.  Like Mr. Raspberry,  Mrs. Blueberry’s enthusiasm ensures that you will always get the absolute best insurance product for your specific needs.  Also like Mr. Raspberry, Mrs. Blueberry’s enthusiasm doesn’t end when she’s made the sale.  You can count on her to be equally enthusiastic if you call her with a claim, or your policy just needs a little adjustment. Leaving her office, I always feel better than when I went in, and not just because I feel better insured!

If you’re fortunate enough to find service providers like these, you will go out of your way to give them your business.  You will also be sure to tell all your friends about them.  Enthusiastic people are successful people.  They are happy, grateful people.  These are people who have chosen a line of work that resonates with their spirit.  So how enthusiastic are you as you go about your day?

Before you answer that question, I want to paint you a different picture.  I recently hired a young woman, Miss Crabapple,  to be my personal assistant because she really needed work and I really needed some assistance.  She was pretty enthusiastic about getting money, but when she showed up for work her whole body language changed.  As soon as I began giving her instructions for her task, her shoulders drooped and her eyes glazed over.  To look at her, you would think that I was condemning her to a lifetime of slavery and torture.  Unlike Mr. Raspberry and Mrs. Blueberry, Miss Crabapple’s work was careless and filled with errors.  When I pointed out the errors, she replied with a less-than-enthusiastic, “Whatever.”  I fired her.

Enthusiasm for your work has a direct effect on the quality of work that you perform.  It also is a predictor of how much you will enjoy your work day.  I guarantee that if you do your work with enthusiasm, your work day will fly by, and you will be energized and upbeat through it all.  If, like little Miss Crabapple, enthusiasm is lacking in your work, your work day will probably drag on for what seems like an eternity, and odds are you will not enjoy one moment of it.  I’ve had jobs that I hated, jobs for which I had zero enthusiasm.  I would actually cry in the mornings as I drove myself to work.

So now I ask you again, how much enthusiasm do you bring to your own job?  Are you a Mr. Raspberry, or are you a Miss Crabapple?  Are you joyful and enthusiastic as you go about your work day, or do you trudge through the day just counting the minutes until the bell rings?

In his book, A New Earth, Eckhart Tolle suggests that enthusiasm is the highest form of what he calls awakened doing.  Tolle explains that most people sleep-walk through their day; they spend the day in their heads, either feeling guilty about the past or worrying about the future.  On the other hand, people who are spiritually enlightened, or awakened, in Tolle’s terminology, live in the present moment.  Their minds and bodies are fully engaged in whatever they are doing, a state that the Buddhists call mindfulness.  When you are in a state of mindfulness, time ceases to exist for you; you are in the flow, completely engaged in your task. Have you ever been so engrossed in a task that hours just flew by without you noticing?  That’s flow.  Being in the flow, completely mindful of the present moment, positions you squarely within the path of your life’s true purpose, where spirit can best work through you.

Enthusiasm for the task at hand, however mundane that task may appear to be, is a sign that you are in a state of awakened doing.  Tolle admits, though, that it’s impossible to be in a state of continuous enthusiasm, so the second signpost of awakened doing is being in a state of simple enjoyment.  If you can’t be enthusiastic about your work, then at least find a way to enjoy it.  Turn a hated task into a game if you can, and try to make it fun for you.  If even that much is impossible, then Tolle’s final signpost of awakened doing is acceptance.  If you can’t find a way to enjoy what you’re doing, then find a way to just accept that it must be done and do the task without resistance (which means no grumbling and no eye-rolling).

So again, I ask you:  How enthusiastic are you about your job?  Are you a Mr. Raspberry, bounding enthusiastically to your next task as if it were the greatest gift on earth?  Do you go through your day like Mrs. Blueberry, who enjoys her work so much that she sings while she’s doing it?  Or are you a Miss Crabapple, hating every minute of it?

We spend a lot of time at our jobs, so they need to be a good fit for us.  Your level of enthusiasm and enjoyment in your job is a good indicator of whether that job suits you.  If you generally enjoy what you do for a living, I encourage you today to try to bump that enjoyment up to enthusiasm, at least for part of your work day.  I guarantee that you will see an increase in productivity that will most likely result in an increase in profitability as well.  If, on the other hand, you are currently working a job that you hate, try at the very least to cultivate an attitude of acceptance, going about your tasks without resistance.  I also urge you to find the courage to leave that job (yes, even in today’s market when jobs are scarce) and find something that you can enjoy.  In the end, doing work you enjoy is far better than making gobs of money.

As we continue to learn how to consistently keep an attitude of gratitude toward our lives, let’s add enthusiasm to the list of signposts that tells us we are on the right path.  Remember that the more grateful you are, the more enthusiastic you are as you are going through your day, the more you will attract into your life the kinds of work and situations for which you can be grateful and enthusiastic.  Maybe you’ll even find yourself singing!

Valerie Saurer is a distributor for SendOutCards, a web-based greeting card service that makes it easy to keep in touch with the people who matter.  Who are you grateful for today?  Click here to send them a free card.

“And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good. ”   Genesis 1:31

Have you ever known someone with lots of money who was really unhappy?  You see it all the time, people who have every material thing the mind can dream up, yet their lives feel meaningless and empty, and they still crave something more.  Have you ever known someone who seemed to have very little in the way of material possessions, yet seemed completely content … even happy?  How can that be?

I have a very good friend who owns very little.   People just call him Rooster … he doesn’t even have a proper name anymore!  Rooster lives in a tiny trailer and owns a rusty truck that he’s kept running for almost 20 years.  Aside from the clothes on his back and some mechanic’s tools, that’s pretty much his entire estate.   Rooster lives like that by choice.  There was a time in his past when he was pretty successful by the world’s standards, with a wife, a big house and all the big bills that go along with a wife and house.  What happened to change all that is Rooster’s story to tell.  But today, Rooster is one of the most contented people I know.  Rooster begins every morning by sitting quietly at the water’s edge.  Some days he looks out at the ocean, some days he looks out at the river.  He watches and he listens.  He spends time every morning just BE-ing.  Just as if he had all the time in the world.  If you ask him, Rooster will tell you that he has everything he needs.  He is also grateful for everything that he has. Rooster is contented with his life because he no longer has the craving for MORE that the rest of us struggle with.

What You Have Is Enough

The secret to contentment is learning to see that what you already have is enough.  In fact, what you have is probably way more than enough if you’re honest with yourself.  Yet we are always craving more and better stuff.  We all have our own personal Home Improvement dreams:  visions of how we want our space to be.  If you’re anything like me, those home improvement dreams always involve buying more stuff.  A better refrigerator, nicer furniture, an updated kitchen, new flooring.  If you’ve ever remodeled a house, you know what I’m talking about.  Even if you’re not a homeowner, you have your own list of things you’ve got to have:  a new iPod, big-screen TV, faster computer, more toys, better clothes, and lots of shoes.  I call it the “Someday I’m going to have …” syndrome.  Oh, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve your situation; in fact, it’s human nature.  What I’m suggesting here is that we learn to look around at what we already have and learn to see it as enough.

We tend to see what is not right with our lives.  We see the unwashed dishes and the pile of laundry.  We see furniture that doesn’t match and clothes that are a bit out of style.  We see all that and we get the idea that what we have is not enough.  So we crave more stuff, and soon we complain about the lack of sufficient storage space.  But how would it be if we learned to look around at what we have and learn to see it as plenty?  I can take a shower in hot water every day, and sleep  in a clean bed.  Every day I have good, nutritious food to eat and can watch my favorite shows on tv.  With my computer and phone, I’m linked in to the entire world, and so am never really isolated from my loved ones.  I have books to read, and paper to write on.  I have something to do every day that contributes to the well-being of the world that I live in.  I have people to love, and people who love me.  I even have cats.  If I can learn to see all that as enough, if I can be truly grateful for all of those things, I am content.

What You Do Is Enough

Most of us feel as if there aren’t enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done.  We set so many tasks for ourselves that we feel we don’t have time to just sit on a riverbank like Rooster does every morning.  We don’t have time to play with our kids or to sit quietly listening to the birds sing or watching kittens play in the yard.  We’re too busy.  Maybe we’re unnecessarily busy.   Time management experts tell us to plan out our day the night before, so that you start the day with your list of things to do already laid out.  That way when you get up in the morning you don’t waste any of your precious time.  But here’s a secret about to-do lists:  you never, ever get to the end of the list.  There’s always plenty of list still remaining at the end of the day.   That fact could really stress you out if you let it.  Don’t let it.  Learn to be at peace with the fact that you’ll never get it all done, and learn to see that what you do really is enough.  Choose one or two goals to accomplish in any given day, and let the rest go.  You’ll never do it all, so just do what you can, and know that it is sufficient.  If you go to bed without washing the dishes, it really will be ok.  I promise.  Learn to tolerate a little mess, and you’ll be a much happier person.  When you go to bed at night, be filled with gratitude for all that you got done that day; don’t spend your last waking moments punishing yourself for all that was left undone.  After all, tomorrow is another day.  Fiddle-dee-dee!

Who You Are Is Enough

The myth of personal development is that we are not good enough the way we are, and that we are in need of some serious personal improvement.  No wonder people are so discontent!  Learn to see yourself as perfectly good just the way you are.  Be grateful for the person you are today.  Appreciate all your excellent qualities.  There is only one of you on this planet, and you are the most perfect example of YOU that we have.  Learn to love yourself just as you are, today.  Instead of seeing faults, see eccentricities.  In a work of art, it’s the little imperfections that make the piece valuable.  I’ve heard that weavers of fine rugs always weave in a tiny imperfection, which is what gives the rug it’s value.  Learn to value your own imperfections.  They are what make you unique.  So how does personal development fit in?  Be grateful for all your qualities; focus your attention on what is special about you, and what is special about you will grow.  That is personal development in a nutshell.

Everything changes.  That is the one constant in life that we can count on.  The Law of Attraction teaches us that whether things change for the better or change for the worse is the direct result of what we consistently focus our attention on.  Learn to see, like God when he first created the world, that what you have, what you do, and who you are is really very good.  And it will be so.

Valerie Saurer is a musician and a writer living a happily eccentric life in Merritt Island, Florida with Keith and plenty of cats.  If you’re feeling particularly grateful today, she invites you to stop by her online Gratitude Journal and tell us about it.  What are you grateful for today?

When I was in the sixth grade, the teacher asked the class, “If you could be anything you wanted to be, what would you be?”  I instantly shot my hand in the air (I was obnoxious like that), and shouted out:  “A saloon hall girl!”  The kid next to me yelled out, “Outlaw!”  The teacher rolled her eyes and sighed in disgust.  She was aiming for answers like fireman and doctor.  She was trying to teach us that we could reach whatever goals we could dream up.  Unfortunately for her, she failed to take into account that as children our dreams are as yet uncensored.  When we play make-believe as children, our imaginations have not yet been completely imprisoned by the mores and “good” values of the culture we are raised in.  As children, the possibilities really are endless.

Saloon hall girl?  Sure, think about it.  In the old western movies, saloon hall girls were the ones who got to drink and smoke, and laugh too loud, and play cards with the men at night when they were out having fun.  Saloon hall girls were uncensored.  They weren’t uptight like the other women, and they seemed to have way more fun.  Now, remember that I was in the sixth grade and didn’t really understand what saloon hall girls actually did for a living.  All I saw was women living free to do whatever they wanted.  Sure, the other women didn’t like them, but to me it seemed like all the fun they were having would make up for that.  They all lived together, like one big slumber party, and got to stay up late. What’s not to like?

The kid who wanted to be an outlaw was watching the same movies and tv shows that I was watching.  He wanted to be an outlaw for many of the same reasons I wanted to be a saloon hall girl.  Outlaws didn’t have to work; they rode horses all day, camped out at night, and just hung out with their friends.  Sometimes they would rob a train or a bank, and that seemed like a pretty fun game to him.   He didn’t really take into account all the social implications of that behavior, it just seemed like a cool way to pass the time.  (By the way, for the rest of the school year that poor kid never raised his hand again!)

Were we bad kids?  Not at all.  At the time I was the world’s biggest teacher pleaser.  I would have never blurted out an answer like that if I’d known the reaction I would get.  I was just being honest.  I learned two things in that moment.  First, I learned that wanting to be a saloon hall girl is BAD.  After thinking real hard about that, I realized that I still really wanted to be a saloon hall girl.  So the second thing I learned is that I was bad.  This lesson clearly was not going according to the teacher’s plan book.

Many years have passed since the sixth grade, but I’ve never forgotten that moment.  It was the day that I learned that I had what some might call “darker impulses.”  I learned that I wanted things I shouldn’t want, and liked things I shouldn’t like.  It wasn’t until years later, though, that I finally accepted that fact about myself, and began to learn how to balance the light and the dark sides of myself.

We all have a dark side.  We all have days when we really want to poke someone’s eye out, or have inappropriate sex, or eat lots of cookies, or dress up like a hootchie mama and go turn some heads.  We have days when we wish we could actually say the things we’re thinking.  But we don’t.  We bottle up those impulses because we need to be nice so that we feel good about ourselves.  We all really need to feel good about ourselves, so often we pretend (even to ourselves) that these impulses don’t really exist.  But they do.  And as Jung taught us, if we repress impulses we think are bad, they will come back to wreak havoc in our pure little lives.

Which is why Mardi Gras was invented.  Mardi Gras is a festival that is a tradition in Catholic countries.  It comes right before Lent, a 40-day period of fasting during which good Christians give up sensual pleasures to spiritually prepare for the annual crucifixion (and resurrection) of Jesus Christ.  Mardi Gras is French for “Fat Tuesday.”  We Americans are most familiar with the French term because New Orleans happens to be a French-speaking town (and also very Catholic).   Rio de Janeiro is also very Catholic, and in Brazil the same festival is called Carnaval.  In England the day is called Shrove Tuesday (because it’s the day you get shriven, or forgiven for your sins, before Lent begins).  In England, Shrove Tuesday is also Pancake Day, the day people eat lots and lots of pancakes to use up all the eggs and cream and butter they won’t get to eat during lent.  Those Brits really know how to live it up, don’t they?    But I digress.

As I was saying, we all have a dark side.  It is part of who we are, and no amount of fasting or pretending will ever eliminate those impulses.  Nor would we want to.  Our darker impulses, our angry side, our violent tendencies, our sensual fantasies, all give color to our lives.  They are where much of our strength resides.  (Even Luke Skywalker got much of his power from the Dark Side, remember?)  If we were to lose the dark side of our personalities, we would be one-dimensional and ineffective. Our lives would be boring and dull, and possibly meaningless.  Can you imagine a life without pancakes and sex?

Today, in the spirit of Mardi Gras, I encourage you to take a good look at your own dark side, the parts of yourself that embarrass you, that you struggle with, that you are ashamed to admit.  I encourage you to embrace those parts of yourself, and to begin to see them in a positive aspect.   Instead of being ashamed of your darker impulses, be grateful for them, for they are part of what make you such a well-rounded and beautiful person.  Learn to love your inner hootchie mama, because she just might lead you down paths the little good girl would never choose.  And oh, what adventures lie down that road!

Valerie Saurer is a former saloon hall girl and eye-poker, who now eats plenty of pancakes whenever she feels like it at her home in Merritt Island, Florida.

“…for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”  William Shakespeare, Hamlet

Hamlet was a dreary guy to be around.  He had it all:  he was the Prince of Denmark, which means he had money and power.  His life was full of potential.  Plus, he had the love of the beautiful Ophelia.  Anyone else in his position might have been very grateful to be so fortuitously placed in life.  But not Hamlet.  Hamlet was chronically depressed and whined and moaned about everything.   From the outside looking in, Hamlet’s life seemed pretty cushy; but from his point of view, Denmark was a prison, and “a goodly one,” at that.  Like I said, Hamlet was a real drag.  Do you know people like that? Just being around them can suck the life out of you; a few minutes in their presence and any good feelings you had begin to grow mold and rot.

When your brain is stuck in a negative groove like Hamlet’s was, it’s really hard to see things in your life to feel grateful about.  Once you’ve let yourself get to a dark place inside your head, your thinking goes on autopilot, and one negative thought breeds another even more negative thought.  Your mood spirals down into the dark pit of despair, pulled down by the stories you tell yourself in your head.  The more negative thoughts you entertain, the more momentum your negative thinking gains, and it becomes harder and harder to jump back out of that groove.  Eventually,  even suicide looks like a pretty sweet option, which is why Ophelia ended up throwing herself in the river.

Learning to keep an attitude of gratitude requires that we be vigilant about policing our thoughts.  When we find ourselves miserable, upset, depressed, angry, or hurt, it’s almost always because we’ve told ourselves a story about the situation that justifies those emotions.  Here’s an example:  You’re supposed to meet your partner for dinner, but they don’t show up.  If you’re a person prone to be angry, you’ll make up lots of reasons in your head for why he’s late, all of which make you angry.  “He’s not here because he’s cheating on me.”  If you’re a person prone to worry, you’ll make up reasons that cause you to be worried:  “He’s not here because he was in an accident.”  See how it works?  We decide how we want to feel, and tell ourselves a story that will get us there.  We all do it.  The question is, how do you really want to feel?

The key to feeling grateful and happy about your life is to catch yourself whenever a negative emotion begins to take hold of you.  Pay attention to the story you are telling yourself in that moment.  I guarantee that if you’re honest with yourself you’ll notice that you were telling yourself a negative story, which is why you got upset.  Change your story.  Look for the positive aspect of the situation.  Tell yourself a better story about whatever it is that has you upset, and your feelings about it will change almost instantly.

Someone once told me, “You can only think one thought at a time, and YOU get to choose what that thought is.”  At the time I was guilty of some chronically negative thinking, and I think that person was sick of hearing me complain all the time.  Someone else has said, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.”  Bad things will happen, because life, as the Buddhists say, is sorrow.  How we react to those inevitable bad things is entirely within our control.  We can think happy, grateful thoughts, or we can think angry, hurt, worried thoughts.  The choice is ours alone.

As my friend Steve likes to say, “Point of view is everything.”  Don’t believe everything you think.  If you find yourself getting caught up in a negative emotion, take a step back and look for the faulty thinking that is generating that emotion.  Then change your story.  Make it your practice to look for the positive aspects of your life situation, and stay focused on what’s good and right in your life.  We are each responsible for our own attitude towards life.  Make yours a grateful one!